Every parent has to decide how to raise their children.
These options can be deeply personal and often reflect the values and experiences of the parents themselves. But what happens when these decisions encounter skepticism or directly criticism from others?
Can parents’ approach to raising your child really badly if they stem from love and care? Such questions arise in the case of Emmy, a new mother whose gentle style of parenthood has attracted the anger of some around her.
In some cases, these decisions do not have to cope with the feelings of others, but parents have the right to choose their ways unless they hurt their child in this process.
Some parents will be very strict with their children, promote the rules and even offer discipline if the child gets off the lines. On the other hand, there are parents who accept a more relaxed parental style with a focus on understanding and fineness.
Emma is a new mother who tends to concentrate on a finer side, but her parenthood style is not necessarily in line with the norms of others. In fact, they often face criticism for their decision.
Here’s what she had to say:
“I’ve always admired your platform as a reliable source where people freely express their views on different topics.” In the past, I often dealt with the posts of others on your page, offered advice and shared my perspectives about shared stories.
Now I’m looking for the opinions of your audience about my situation with my son.
My son, Georgie, is 8 years old. All my life I knew I wanted to have children. When I found out that I was pregnant, I decided to break the cycle in my family by accepting the less contradictory style of parenting.
I grew up under the strict government of my parents and understood the consequences of such authoritarian education. It wasn’t just hard for me; It influenced all in our household.
The constant pressure led to anxiety and my self -esteem suffered. My relationships with my parents were tense.
It took me years to realize the tolls that had this environment for my well -being. But as I became old, I made a conscious effort to face these challenges. It is important to find a balance between discipline and understanding in the raising of children.
Therefore, I want to create a careful environment for my son, which prefers love, respect and open communication, so it does not have to go through the same hardships I did. But my husband disagrees with this approach to the child’s education. He believes that Georgie should understand the social standards and the consequences of his actions.
One thing I have decided is that I will never force my child to apologize or thank, please. I really believe that this approach can psychologically traumatize him.
When we apologize to the children, even if they don’t really mean it, we teach them to be fake. Your child may not be really sorry for what they have done, and that’s okay. Children take time to learn empathy and realize how their actions affect others.
Forced excuses teach children that the feelings of other people care more than their own. Sometimes when we argue or we have a problem, we need time to calm down and think about what we did wrong. This thinking helps us see our part of the problem and admit our mistakes.
When we are in a hurry to apologize for the children, we will not give them this time to think.
We also tell them to ignore how they feel and focus only on the other person. This could lead to adults who always try to please others, try to talk about themselves and not know how to get what they need. Therefore, Georgie fails to apologize.
When Georgie pushed another child on the pitch, instead of force him to apologize, I came to this child and instead apologized. I believe Georgie would follow my example and learn acceptable behavior in this situation.
This incident on the pitch only escalated our argument with my husband about parenting. It insists on stricter methods, but I disagree with it. Some people who think about good parenting can use strength or even mean to control what their child is doing, everyone to protect their own reputation. They could do this because they feel insecure or scared.
I want to be a friend of my son, help him understand his emotions and navigate life together. This way of relationship helps the child to learn about freedom and responsibility and how it affects others. I do not ignore my authority; I just don’t consider myself better than my son.
Georgie and I already share a strong bond, and if I feel impressed, I will explain to him that I need some time alone. Now that he learns from me, he will let me know if he needs space.
Despite always trust in my parental method and seeing positive results, the constant criticism of my husband and other parents made me question my decision. ”
Every parent faces a call to decide how to raise their children. Sometimes these decisions do not have to cope with the faith of others, but parents have the right to decide if they do not harm their child.
Some parents accept a strict approach, promote the rules and perform discipline for poor behavior, while others prefer a more relaxed style that emphasizes understanding and subtlety.
Emma is a new mother who embodies a finer approach, although her parental style often attracts criticism from others. Here’s her perspective:
“I’ve always appreciated your platform as a reliable space for people to express their views on different topics.” In the past, I dealt with the posts of others, offered advice and shared my thoughts on the discussed stories.
Now I’m looking for feedback from your audience about my son.
My son, Georgie, is 8 years old. I’ve always wanted to have children since I was a child. When I learned that I was pregnant, I decided to break the cycle of strict parenting in my family and accept more.
Growing up with authoritarian parents taught me the harmful effects of such rigid education. It was difficult for me and had consequences for all in our household.
The ongoing pressure caused anxiety and my self -esteem suffered. My relationships with my parents were tense.
It took me years to realize how much this environment affected my mental health. As I ripened, I made a conscious effort to deal with these challenges. I believe it is essential to achieve a balance between discipline and compassion for children’s raising.
Therefore, I try to create a caring environment for Georgia, prefer love, respect and open communication, so it will not withstand the same struggles I faced. However, my husband disagrees with this approach. He believes that Georgie should understand the social standards and the consequences of his actions.
One thing I am firm is that I will never force my child to apologize or thank or please. I really believe that this approach can cause psychological harm.
When we force children to apologize, even if they don’t mean it, we teach them to be honest. Children do not really feel sorry for their actions, and that’s fine. It takes them time to develop empathy and recognize how their behavior affects others.
For example, apologies teach children that the feelings of other people are more important than their own. Sometime during conflicts we need time to calm down and think about our actions. This reflection allows us to understand our role in the situation and to recognize our mistakes.
When we rush children to apologize, we deny them the opportunity to think.
We also instruct them to overlook their own feelings and focus only on the other person. This could lead to adults who are constantly trying to please others are trying to assert and have difficulty expressing their needs. Therefore, Georgie is not doing apologetics.
For example, when Georgie pushed another child on the pitch, instead of apologizing, I approached the second child and apologized with the name of my son. I believe that Georgie will observe my actions and learn appropriate behavior from them.
This incident only intensified our debate on parental styles with my husband. It insists on stricter methods, while I stay against them. Some parents can resort to hardness or even meaningfulness to control the behavior of their child, especially to maintain their own reputation. This often stems from their feelings of uncertainty or fear.
I want to be a friend of my son and lead him to understand his emotions and navigate life together. This type of relationship promotes a sense of freedom and responsibility and at the same time teaches him about his impact on others. I do not present my authority; I simply don’t consider myself better than my son.
Georgie and I share a strong bond, and when I feel impressed, I will explain to him that I need some time alone. Now that he learns from my example, he also tells his need for space.
Despite my trust in my parental method and the positive results I see, the constant criticism of my husband and other parents led me to question my decisions. ”
When navigating the complexity of parenting, Emma emphasizes the story of the importance of reconciliation with personal values and experience. By deciding to support the careful environment for Georgia, it aims to break the cycle of authoritarian parenting, which formed its own education. Emma’s emphasis on empathy, open communication and self -confidence reflects her desire to cultivate a supportive relationship with her son, where she feels free to express and learn from real life experience.
Although Emma has been criticizing her husband and others, he remains persistent in his faith that the forcing of children to prematurely adapt to social standards can prevent their emotional development. Its commitment to model the appropriate behavior and respect for Georgie’s feelings shows her determination to raise a self -confident and confident child. When it continues to navigate the invitations of parenthood, Emm’s path serves as a reminder that each family is unique and what works for one may not work for another. Finally, the key is to find a balance that respects both the individual’s individuality and the values of the family and supports the environment in which love and understanding prevail.
